Every year this day rolls around I think it may be a little easier than the last. I don’t think it will ever get easier. Everyone that knows me always knew from my childhood until December 2003 who the number one most important person in my life was. My Grandma Jean. Today is her birthday. It’s a very emotional day for me. I know that loss is a part of life and everyone has to go through it. But for me losing my grandma was the worst day of my life. There were so many things about my grandma that I love and miss. She was without a doubt my best friend. I always felt extremely disconnected and left out from the majority of my family but my grandma never made me feel that way. I loved to be with her and I could see on her face how much she loved to be with me. It didn’t matter when I came over. Many times I would call her and say I’m on my way down you wanna go to the mall? She would be right there with me. She came to as many of my basketball games as she could. Anything that was important to me she was there. It’s still hard to replay in my mind. When you have someone like that in your life that you feel like is what keeps you going every day. I had a hard time in high school mostly caused by myself but they were difficult years for me. I gave up on dreams I had, lost friends, lost love, but through it all there was my Grandma. She was the only person in my life I ever felt like she loved me UNCONDITIONALLY. She would put me in my place but she still loved me.
After my grandma passed away I was in a very DARK place. I have never been the suicidal type but honestly I didn’t feel like I had anything to live for, until MAKENZIE! I found out I was pregnant a little over a month after my grandma passed away. I wasn’t married and probably not the most prepared but somehow I just knew it was all going to be okay. I knew my Grandma Jean had sent Makenzie Jean Page down to me. The older Makenzie got the more I could tell. She is so girly and loves jewelry just like my grandma, Makenzie loves to shop with me and loves clothes just like my grandma, and Makenzie has one of the kindest spirits and is so friendly just like my GRANDMA. I definitely think she guided Kayden to me too. The thing hardest for me about not having her here is not being able to take my kids to her house to play with her, or ask her advice when I’m raising them, and worst of all my kids don’t get to experience right now what a amazing Great Grandma they had.
The last couple months of my Grandma’s life was the hardest but most amazing for me. I had become a CNA in high school and so I got to help take care of my Grandma in her home when the cancer got really bad. We spent so much time together. We watched Game Show Network, we played cards, we laughed until we cried, and we had numerous talks about life. I miss that so much now. I don’t have any other relationship like that. It was so hard to see her going through the Chemo and being so sick and me being someone that had NEVER lost any one it was so difficult to be there and watch the cancer take over but all that time I spent with my grandma I would never trade for anything.
Today I am remembering the most remarkable woman I’ve ever known. She was my grandma and my best friend and I was “Her Little Girl.” She was the kindest person I’ve ever met. She taught me all about the kind of mother I wanted to be. A mother that couldn’t spend enough time with my children no matter how old they are, a mother that has patience and a open heart. It took me a while to take after the kind of person she was and I definitely have a long way to go. But because of my grandma I am extremely forgiving, I don’t hold grudges, I will do anything for my family and friends, and I think I am a good listener. I can honestly say I got all those things from her.
I love you Grandma, I think about you every day, and I can’t wait until the day that I can see you again!!
After my grandma passed away I was in a very DARK place. I have never been the suicidal type but honestly I didn’t feel like I had anything to live for, until MAKENZIE! I found out I was pregnant a little over a month after my grandma passed away. I wasn’t married and probably not the most prepared but somehow I just knew it was all going to be okay. I knew my Grandma Jean had sent Makenzie Jean Page down to me. The older Makenzie got the more I could tell. She is so girly and loves jewelry just like my grandma, Makenzie loves to shop with me and loves clothes just like my grandma, and Makenzie has one of the kindest spirits and is so friendly just like my GRANDMA. I definitely think she guided Kayden to me too. The thing hardest for me about not having her here is not being able to take my kids to her house to play with her, or ask her advice when I’m raising them, and worst of all my kids don’t get to experience right now what a amazing Great Grandma they had.
The last couple months of my Grandma’s life was the hardest but most amazing for me. I had become a CNA in high school and so I got to help take care of my Grandma in her home when the cancer got really bad. We spent so much time together. We watched Game Show Network, we played cards, we laughed until we cried, and we had numerous talks about life. I miss that so much now. I don’t have any other relationship like that. It was so hard to see her going through the Chemo and being so sick and me being someone that had NEVER lost any one it was so difficult to be there and watch the cancer take over but all that time I spent with my grandma I would never trade for anything.
Today I am remembering the most remarkable woman I’ve ever known. She was my grandma and my best friend and I was “Her Little Girl.” She was the kindest person I’ve ever met. She taught me all about the kind of mother I wanted to be. A mother that couldn’t spend enough time with my children no matter how old they are, a mother that has patience and a open heart. It took me a while to take after the kind of person she was and I definitely have a long way to go. But because of my grandma I am extremely forgiving, I don’t hold grudges, I will do anything for my family and friends, and I think I am a good listener. I can honestly say I got all those things from her.
I love you Grandma, I think about you every day, and I can’t wait until the day that I can see you again!!
3 comments:
His party starts at 5:30, can't wait to see you then! Its gonna be a lot of fun!
Your grandma is here with you. Believe it or not. She is helping you in life, love, and raising your children. Your litte ones know your grandma. Maybe not in an earthly way but in a heavenly way. Your grandma was there with them when they were in heaven waiting patiently to come to earth to be with you and Josh.
it's true, your grandma was the best.
A wonderful tribute. Makes me wish I knew her. And like Koriann said she is here with you.
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