Never Give Up

I got a message from a relative of mine that said she was going to give up that day I wrote the blog. That made putting myself out there so worth it. I know what that feeling is like. It's a dark and lonely one. I hope she never gets there again. After talking to her for a long time we talked about how she felt like people in her life were bad for her and it occurred to me that I didn't post about this. I told her that as soon as I accepted that just as people in my life may not be good for me I also may not be good for other peoples lives. Trying to fix myself and not focus on what I felt like was hurting Josh or me only I realized I have always wanted everyone to like me. It's always been like a mission of mine. I will do just about anything asked. Take pictures, help with this, pick up this etc. My answer was always yes. To the point that I would get overwhelmed and often times there was nothing in it for me but feeling like I had somehow done what I was supposed to do as a friend. Other people just as easily could feel that way about me. They've helped with my kids or brought me a drink or stopped in to check on me. Sometimes when I've been at my worse. Usually just sad I'm very rarely in a bad mood that affects how I treat people but I have the last couple years had many moments where I can be quite depressing to be around. I may not be good for other people the way some people aren't good for me. As soon as I accepted that it made it so much easier. Then I wasn't the victim and I didn't feel sorry for myself. This is how life is. People come and go and that's ok cause hopefully in the end you're left with who you should be and so are they. That made a world of difference for me. She said she never thought of it that way. I told her trust me don't ever give up. That day you decide to there may be no going back.

This is a moment I had to share because now instead of feeling sorry for my family and myself I feel like I'm actually making a difference for my self and even if it's only this ONE other person it still made a difference.