Baby Blues

My Many Reminders That My Babies Are Growing Up

I'm not sure why the time insists on going by so fast with my kids but can I just say that I HATE it. It's depressing. I used to think my Grandma Jean must have been temporarily insane to have 9 kids but I am starting to understand. If I didn't take so much into consideration like money, college, helping them when they need it, and spoiling them like crazy I would have more too. It's so weird that my last baby Lucas is a 1 year old in a week. I don't know what I'm going to do when he's as independent as Kenzie and Kayden.

Makenzie lost one of her top teeth this week. This for me is the beginning of her being "Grown up" since she's getting her "Adult" teeth. Yes I know she's only 6 but I remember her sleeping on my chest every night and rocking her to sleep. I remember being a 19 year old going around Brigham City with my daughter having everyone think I'm crazy and knowing it didn't matter I had my world in my arms and nothing else mattered. Now I have my world holding my hand, telling me stories about things she wants when she's grown, explaining to me all about her day at school, going on playdates without me (just one but still), reading books to me instead of me reading to her, she's going to be in school all day full time this year. My FIRST GRADER.

Which brings me to Kayden who I've completely tried to stop the process you just heard about with Kenzie. But he's independent as ever. He still needs mom a little unlike Kenzie. The mama boy thing isn't totally gone (I hope it never goes) but he will also be going to school this year. It's going to be so hard for me to send him. I know it will be so good for him but it doesn't mean I like it. I know a lot of mom's that love having the break and their freedom but I've never had nor wanted that since I had them. It's so hard for me to trust someone else to take care of them. Kayden is brilliant and I know he's going to be just like his big sister. I know I will get used to it it's just happening too fast and I would rather they never grow up.

Then there's my soon to be 1 year old. Lucas started walking last week and he's doing all those little things like feeding himself, drinking from a sippy, trying to talk, I know I know he's still a baby but it's just the beginning of what Kenzie and Kayden are doing.

In all seriousness besides being sad watching them grow up and who they are becoming is wonderful, rewarding, and for every minute I'm sad I have weeks of being so happy. Seeing how happy Luke is, how well behaved and smart Kayden is, and how smart and incredibly generous Kenzie is makes all the "sacrifices" of maybe not always having a ton of money and choosing to stay home and take care of them worth every second. I love them so much and I will always remember getting to spend as much time with them as I have. I will be grateful I never had to miss anything. I am honored to be Makenzie, Kayden, and Lucas's mom. No matter what they will always be the BEST thing I have ever done.

Now if the 3 of you could slow down your mommy would appreciate it!!

Love you so much.

Love Mom

This song is the perfect song for the way I'm feeling. Hope you like it.