Sydnie and Preslie's Birth story!

After a very very rough pregnancy and more pain than I even imagined and I've had 3 other kids. July 8th I had a doctor's appointment that was going to be all day basically. They had many things they were going to check that day. Makenzie so badly wanted to go with me even though we had to be there at 7am. So I let her. I had a feeling I wouldn't be coming back home that day. We got to McKay and first went to radiology where they were supposed to be doing a scan to see if I had a blood clot in my leg. I had a very hard time getting there and I couldn't breathe through the pain. The lady at the desk said "Sweetheart I think this can wait and we need to get you to labor and delivery." All I could think was NO not this soon. Although I did have a feeling I wouldn't make it much longer because with every pregnancy I can feel a difference in pressure when I'm getting close and this was the same times two. Makenzie and I got up to labor and delivery and sure enough I was in labor. Makenzie slept on the bed half the day, rubbed me, got me ice, she was incredibly patient and loving. (I hope she gets some of that from me) My doctor came in and said I was dilated to a 5 and that my contractions were close and I needed to be admitted.  (Deep breaths) (Don't Freak Out) I up til this point had NEVER spent a night away from Luke and only been away from Kenzie and Kayden when I had Luke and Kayden. I don't like other people taking care of my kids either. So great what were we going to do Josh had to work. I got to my room and honestly thought ok this is going to be a awful, heartbreaking couple of weeks but I can do it for my girls. This was a Tuesday. Well they got my contractions stopped and had be completely bed ridden. Thursday my nurse comes in and says your doctor is going to send you home. What? I was bawling because just getting up to go to the bathroom felt like babies were falling out and I knew if I went home that would be it. I begged the nurse to talk to my doctor and keep me there. I cried and begged. Well my doctor being the bright person she is said check her if she hasn't changed send her home. Stupid to check a woman that has been in and out of labor. She checked I was a 6 and not progressing since the day before so I was going home. The nurse at this point was crying with me you could tell she disagreed with the doctor. But what do you do? So I was sent home that night.

That night at 10pm. I thought oh here we go again. So so much pain. More pain then I had with all other 3 kids combined seriously. Well I was terrified to go in because my doctor wasn't listening to me at this point and I didn't want to be sent home again. So I woke up the next morning. Sat in the same position on the couch from about 6am to 3pm. I couldn't eat or drink anything and I just sat there having my stomach tighten beyond belief every five minutes. Finally at 3pm I called my buddy Michele and said I'm in labor I know it. I need to get to the hospital. She didn't hesitate. (One of the best people I know) I'm thinking great my mom is in Brigham and my husband is in West Valley no one is going to be with me. Well Michele didn't leave (thank heavens) and my mom got there like a crazy person (I don't want to know how fast she drove) Josh was afraid of getting in trouble at work if they stopped me and so he was in limbo on what to do. So Michele, my mom, and me asked them immediately what they were going to do so we could get Josh there. No one was really giving me information except that I was having contractions every 1 minute and yes they hurt. One hour later before I knew it the doctor came in and said we are going to begin prepping you for a emergency C Section. WHAT?? I knew I had to have a C section because I got my tubes tied but I was not prepared and I was so scared since it was my first. Within 10 minutes I was prepped and going in. I called Josh bawling telling him I wish he was there with me. I was thankful my mom made it in time though. I was so scared going in without Josh though. 

Next thing I know I'm on the table with a bunch of bright lights above me. I kept looking over at my mom and I was so scared. They began cutting and I could feel ALL of it. I started screaming that I could feel it. The doctor and nurse said it's just the pressure. I knew it wasn't at some point I went into shock and I don't remember much of anything after that until I got wheeled in to see Preslie and Sydnie for the first time.

I had had them named in the womb for quite a while and I'm waiting in a room to clean me all up before I get to go in and see them and Josh says "I want to name the other one Sydnie." I could see by the look on his face that that was Sydnie and considering he missed it I wanted him to feel apart of it. So I was ok with it. So the first time I saw them I wondered if it would feel like them. It did instantly. I knew the "littler one" was Sydnie and I knew Preslie was Preslie.

Preslie Jean Page was 4lbs 5oz and Sydnie Rae Page was 3lbs 13oz. They were 2 of the 5 most beautiful things I've ever seen in my life. I was so happy and honored that god chose me. The reality set in that I wasn't allowed to hold them. I could only touch their hands. I knew it was going to be a rough road that night and was so worried about how long they would be in the hospital.

The next consisted of me going in and out of consciousness because of the epidural still being in my back. I couldn't be with my babies without feeling like I was passing out. So I asked to get that out as soon as possible. I pushed myself hard and probably way too fast. It's amazing what you're capable of when you have motivation like your children. But I knew I had four days with them then they were making me go home. That was the LONGEST 3 weeks and 1 day of my life. I've honestly never been so torn up. I felt guilty when I wasn't home with my other kids I felt sick when I wasn't at the hospital. Trying to enjoy summer nights wasn't happening because I didn't feel whole. It was horrible. Every day it was force a smile on my face and go see my babies and come home and force a smile on my face. Many many days of just crying. I wanted my family back together and whole. Every time I came home with out them Makenzie sobbed. She had waited her whole life for a sister and got two and she didn't understand why they weren't home. Truth be told looking back though we were incredibly lucky. For being 33 maybe 34 weeks they had very little trouble. They just had to learn to swallow and eat. That was it. We were so fortunate. But it feels like torture when you're going through it.

Bringing them home was AMAZING!!