Blog Slacker!

I realized tonight that I have been majorly neglecting my blog. I don't want to do that since I'm going to be printing this thing off soon. This will be the only thing I have close to a journal ever. Just like Rachel on friends I have gotten journals wrote in them once and never again. So tonight I am going to blog while I'm sitting here working with both my babies in bed. I have been thinking a lot about what it is going to be like to have 3 kids. To be totally honest I am TERRIFIED. I've never been so scared or so excited for anything. I am so excited to have Lucas. I am so excited to see Kayden and Lucas interact. Makenzie will be the little mama like she was with Kayden. She will want to hold, kiss, hug, love him all the time. Kayden I'm a little nervous about cause he's a mama's boy and kind of territorial over me. He gets a little jealous when I'm holding other peoples kids. But he keep talking about his brother with so much excitement. I can't wait to see them together. (Just a couple more weeks) But I'm scared that going to the store it going to be impossible. Taking them swimming and everything is going to be more stressful than fun cause I only have two hands and am terrified of something happening. All these stupid things are going through my head. I know no matter what I am going to love Lucas with everything I have just like Kenzie and Kayden. And I know that once he is here I will not no life with out him just like the other two. But I still can't help thinking about it. I guess it's just one of those things that I will learn as Luke comes. My favorite thing in life is being a mom so hopefully I'll still be good at it with 3.

I didn't get to blog my New Years Resolutions.... I don't know why I make them to break them but whatever. I have a couple good ones this year that I'm really hoping and preying I can follow through on.

1. I have a adopted a new theme for my life this year. I want to "Live and Let Live" Basically I have spent far too much time in my life worried about what everyone else thinks or thinking about what other people are doing. Looking back instead of forward. Keeping my opinions to myself if I feel like other people don't agree or are going to be mad at me. Worrying about who has called me and who hasn't or if I've called them enough. Blah Blah Blah.... I just want to live the rest of my life with my beliefs, my expectations, my feelings, and my consequences. I am going to LOVE everyone around me regardless and not cast judgement and stay away from the ones that do. I am a passionate person. I have developed a strong mind and strong opinions over the last couple years having a husband/best friend that cares about those opinions and discusses things with me and challenges me. I am open minded and wouldn't feel differently about anyone if there opinion is different from mine. (I actually like listening to opposite views) But I've come to realize a lot of people turn their back on you because they feel differently. Some people won't hang out with people that don't go to church, or that drink, or that are gay, or that have kids or don't have kids, or don't share views in politics etc. I don't want to be one of those people. I will be respectful and not drink my glass of wine around those that would be uncomfortable with it and at the same time I am not going to pretend I don't do it cause it's not "socially acceptable." Basically my biggest new years resolution is I'm going to be myself and you'll love me for who I am or miss out on me. I want Kenzie, Kayden, and Lucas to be comfortable with who they are too and I feel that this is the way to set the best example.

More resolutions to come soon....

Lesson from Makenzie:

Makenzie, Kayden, and I LOVE American Idol. We watch it all together for the last 3 seasons cuddled up on the couch under a big blanket. This past week we were watching it. On the people that couldn't sing this was my daughter
"Mommy she sounds terrible.... but I like her hair"
"Mommy he sounds terrible.... but I like his shoes"
"Mommy that man is hilarious... and he's right boys should pull their pants up"
My daughter teaches me more in one day then school ever did. She hates saying bad things about people so after everytime has to say something good. With the "mommy that man is hilarious... and he's right boys should pull their pants up" it wasn't that black man which by the way a bunch of the talk shows that reported on it said "did you see the older BLACK man on American Idol last night?" Makenzie just saw him as a really nice looking funny guy. I am so proud of the little girl she has become.

Lesson from Kayden:
Kayden says: "Mom I will clean my room if you let me play the WII first."
I said "Kayden I will let you play the WII for a half hour if you clean you room first."
Kayden says: "I don't think that is fair"
I said: "What would be fair Kayden?"
Kayden says: "I clean half my room, play the WII, clean the other half, play the WII again"

So my 4 yr old is trying to negotiate and stuff with me already. Please help me. I love him so much though!! It's hard to say no to his big brown eyes and cute little faces he pulls at me.